


Symphony Impossible to Play

by soul_of_blaze



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Gen, Sadstuck
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-01-19
Updated: 2014-01-19
Packaged: 2018-01-09 07:47:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,435
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1143399
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/soul_of_blaze/pseuds/soul_of_blaze
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Based heavily on the album 'Symphony Impossible to Play'. I suggest listening to it when you read this.</p>
<p>There are bits and pieces of them in their everyday lives, though sometimes it goes unnoticed. On occasion, Rose finds herself pausing outside of a record store with a temptation to go inside, but it always passes. She doesn't have any interest in record music. Sometimes, John enters a gardening store and buys pumpkin seeds, but they always end up lost in piles of papers on the kitchen counter. His sister scolds him every time, saying, "We don't even have a garden! You're wasting perfectly good money."</p>
            </blockquote>





	Symphony Impossible to Play

**Author's Note:**

> I was going through my tumblr and came across a link to this album, so I ended up listening to it. 
> 
> And was inspired, since I haven't written any thing for Homestuck in a while. Sadstuck ahead, of course.

**I - Overture**

He watches them closely, hands behind his back while they gather excitedly around the door. It hasn't been opened, it won't be just yet. Plans have already been drafted for the new universe, Roxy and Kanaya were bent over creating the perfect world for hours, and then Rose joined in to create aspects that neither of the other girls had thought to include. So many careful minisicule details were planted, precautions taken for themselves. Jane had agreed willingly to the letting in of trolls to their universe, even going so far as to suggest that this new planet had humans and trolls co-inhabiting. That had lit up Rose's face.

But now, they were gathering themselves together, regarding the door with awe and wonder. When it was all said and done, it didn't seem as grand as it had been made out to be but...

Dave was, among other things, happy. 

There was so much to do. Rebuilding their lives would take work, but he could see in the way Dirk occasionally held Jake's hand, when he thought no one was looking (or he knew his brother was watching, but that was inevitable in trying to avoid), that every single one of them was willing to take it with ease. Even the trolls, despite both Karkat and Terezi's obvious unease at the aspect of living without their friends. It was always hard to see, but Dave caught each and every small smile that etched its way onto his lips. Most of them were from John, or Terezi, though the ones that made their way to his eyes were the ones Dave caught when Karkat stood with Kanaya. Happiness had begun to creep back into everyone, slowly and unbeknowst to them.

That was why he had to do this.

As time moved on, every second, minute, hour ticked off in his head which made it hard not to notice how long it took them to settle themselves enough to be ready, and during that itme, excluding Kanaya, there seemed to be slow realizations that he stayed away from grouping up in with the excitement. No one said anything, not initally. Why? Dave was known for being or acting aloof, the 'cool kid', and it was excused in that way.

Not until Jane stood before the door, her hand cupping the knob lightly did he come forward to stand beside his sister. The way they were grouped off, he could feel that it would be easy to back up when they went forward to the universe that their once-guardians had won. 

But before that, he regarded them, eyes hidden behind his shades casting over each member of the group. This was, he thought, his final farewell to each of them. One last look.

Jane was at the door, the hand not willing to open it trembling but she stood tall and there were definitely noticeable bits of John in her, her face was set grim and though it wasn't the first time Dave had regarded her as a leader, the way she turned to stare at the rest of them certainly showed she was. The forementioned boy floated a few inches off the ground, next to her, with the tail end of his hood between his fingers in a nervous fiddling. He let himself drift in memories for a few moments, of the first time they talked over Pesterchum to their first meeting, but he would never let himself think of the future. If John knew, he would be practically kidnapped into the universe of their making. With trembling hands, he averted his eyes to Jake, who was hiding his held hand well enough for no one but the Knight to notice, and Dirk, for what ever reason, caught Dave's eye and smiled at him. That was too painful, for if Dave were perhaps somewhat dumber he may have stayed, for selfish purpose of having a brother again. 

Or was it selfish to wretch that possibility from the both of them? He couldn't decide. It would have to be remedied with Dirk having two sisters.

Roxy was tense, her hands curled into balled fists as she stared straight ahead at the door. They had defeated all their known enemies, but he could understand her tenseness on a base level. Far too many things were being left behind, things they would never be able to recreate even in their wildest dreams. People. For her, Dave had learned the name 'Callie' came with far too many tears and a loneliness that could never be properly filled in Roxy.

There were several nights before the battle that he sat awake and held his sort-of-sister's hand while he listened to her softly cry, other hand pressing away her own tears thinking he didn't know.

Another reason, that what he was to do was important. 

Though he wished to, he did not lift a hand to lay on her should, instead twisting his gaze to glance at Rose. She had a  happier look about her, fingers entangled with Kanaya's. They were going on to a better life, and in no way were leaving anything behind, not that she knew at least. Kanaya looked at him out of the corner of her eye, no more than that and he bowed his head slightly. She was less happy looking, more aware of what was going on and maybe that was another factor that made it harder for him.

He still couldn't tell but as he looked past her, that regret rested at the back of his mind again. Terezi, though still battered and bruised in places, was grinning at the door. She had seen it before, in another color and time, which had failed but there was nothing that could stop them this time. Beside her, Karkat had a mournful look on his face. It was less of Roxy's, but still very similar. He too was leaving behind many people he could not recreate, friends he would never be able to see again or apologize to. This scene had unfolded before him before, where he was Jane and the door had been yanked from him, blown to bits before they had a chance. 

Karkat had fucked up massively, his own fault in his mind for both his failure of the game and theirs. Dave had given up on trying to let him know it didn't matter anymore, they had their new universe to worry about, because he stopped hearing that ages ago.

"Is everyone ready?" Jane's voice was breathless, and even though her question had been asked, she was starting to turn the knob. There was a chorus of yes's, as the group stepped forward, and Dave took a slow step back. He caught Kanaya's eye, smiling bitterly at her.

"Goodbye," he said, stuffing his hands into his pockets. But he never calculated or expected for Jane's hand to drop from the doorknob and for her to whirl around to stare at him. Shit, he cursed himself, because he had never expected rejection from anyone but Dirk on that side.

"You're not... leaving?" Rose had let go of Kanaya's hand, rushing forward to Dave. It was some strange reflex that he caught her into a hug, burying his face into her hair. Rose was shorter than him now, whenever that had happened he couldn't recall. She breathed shallowly into his shoulder. "Why."

"I have to. I'm sorry, Rose, I'm sorry, but I'm not..." Her hands were tight on his arms as he tried to wretch away from her. "I can't. I can't go. You'll never be happy if I... If we don't do this." Behind him, Aradia shimmered into air, dropping onto her feet as she came forward. Dave closed his eyes when Rose let go to take a step back. "I knew what I had to do when I figured out Roxy and Karkat wouldn't be able to live in the new universe without thinking back to these days. You all would, in the end, and Aradia and I can take those memories away. The world will be what we all put together, yours, and all that, but you won't remember the game. You won't remember me, or anyone else," his eyes opened to look over Roxy and then Karkat who, with Terezi, was being held back by Kanaya's hands on their shoulders. She was taller than them as well, towering over them like a mother. "So you can live happily and never worry about anyone, because you will never have met them."

"Dave, you can't just..!"John had floated back down to the ground and was coming forward to him, but Jane caught his arm easily and tore him away from his path and words. Her eyes had darkened considerably, but there seemed some sort of understanding in them as well.

"He's right, John, it would be better if we... put this behind us, completely. Would you really want to spend every day of your life thinking of the people and the universe you couldn't save, even if you had tried?"

It takes some more arguing befor eventually everyone does concede, though much of it is extremely reluctant, and then there is a final moment where Rose steps back into the arc they had created around the door, her eyes watching her brother from there. 

Jane mutters something, her fingers closing carefully around the door knob before she swings it open slowly. It's far too bright to see anything but she steps through with certainty and everyone else on her heels, before it swings shut. As it closes and locks, Dave looks over at Aradia. 

"Well?"

"Let's go now, set things up so they wake up comfortably," Aradia says, with a small smile before she reaches out and grasps his hand with hers.

**II - Sarabande**

_"There is, certainly a lot to say to that," Kanaya finally murmurs as she puts down the dress she has been working on. It's a rich shade of violet, something Dave guesses must be for Rose. Still, he drags his attention back to her. They're both seated on the floor, fabrics and needles all about._

_"Kinda hoping you had more to say to that, Maryam," he says it offhandly, trying to act casual._

_"What do you want me to say? Dave, I have spent three years with you and Rose, and my dearest friends. I would very much desire not to lose your friendship because you think it would make things better."_

_"Alright. I get that. But there's a reason I came to you, okay?" He fidgets then, picking at a loose string on his shirt, which distracts Kanaya into scolding him for a few moments. "You aren't my sister, you aren't John and you aren't Karkat or Terezi. I need to talk to someone who considers me a friend but who isn't going to immediately tell me no."_

_"What do you hope to accomplish with this?" When he looks up, there is a softer, sadder look in her face. It makes Dave want to cry. Makes him think why would he ever even think of leaving them._

_But he works throught that quickly, closing off the emotions and reminding himself of other things. Like the happiness that his friends will have when he does this._

_"Aradia told me that with my powers and hers, we can erase all the memories you have. And everyone's, too. You won't remember Alternia, you won't remember the game or anybody," he says it quickly and watches her face for any sign of protest, though the look saddens she doesn't make a protest. "Rose won't remember her life before the game, she won't remember the game and she won't remember me. None of you will. We'll create lives for you, plant them in your heads and set you up to live safely in the new universe."_

_"So all of this will be gone."_

_"Yes."_

_"And you think that will be better? Than remembering it?"_

_"There won't be any pain. They can't miss me or Jade, any longer. Karkat won't have think he failed anyone, you won't have lost anyone, everyone will be happy. I'll make sure of it."_

_"Dave," she said, her hands putting down the needle she'd held their entire conversation._

_"Kanaya, please. I'm asking you to help, I know you desired to rebuild your race and, look, it would just be better."_

_"I don't disagree," Kanaya said finally, though her eyes were gazing everywhere else but him. "I wish I could, but you are right. Every one of us would be happy without remembering everything we went through."_

_He was silent for a while, before she spoke again._

_"I just wish there were another way for that."_

_"I know. I'm sorry."_

**III - Serenade**

**  
**Dave Strider's life is not half bad. He wakes at 6 AM every day, exactly at that time not a second early or later, and has the same daily pattern. There is a tree that overlooks a house built over a waterfall, which he sits in for a few hours in the morning. And he watches the morning life of Rose Lalonde. Many things puzzle him, but since he was able to map out her life for her, Rose Lalonde grew up fighting passive agressively with her mother and plotting with her elder sister, Roxy, and spending her time writing into fictional worlds. Now, though, she lives on her own and is dazzingly pretty, an adult in the prime of her life. Most of her mornings are spent inside, drinking tea and writing, because, you see, Miss Lalonde is a well known, celebrated author.

Some mornings, she goes out and has coffee with her sister and their half-brother, Dirk. Sometimes she meets up with her childhood friend John, who runs a prank store, and they walk along the streets and talk. Sometimes, Dave walks a step behind them just to listen to their conversations.

On one particular morning, he's following her carefully. Rose's route leads her to a bookstore, the one across from the cafe that she meets Roxy and Dirk for coffee. There is a woman at the countertop, a troll that Dave remembers easily when she looks up. Pretty jade eyes, one horntip that hooks down, short, short hair and a sense of style that could never be rivaled. 

"Can I help you?" Kanaya's voice is smooth and even though it is simple speech, he swears he can hear each first letter of her words stand out more.

"Oh," Rose looks surprised, and her stare lingers on Kanaya longer than necessary. "I'm sorry, actually, I was just... I'm not actually sure why I came in here."

Kanaya stifles a laugh into her hand, and Rose looks entirely flustered. "I can certainly suggest a book to you, if you would like to have a reason for coming in here."

"Oh, no, I have far too many things to do to sit down and read a book, though that thought is fairly enticing."

"Perhaps, I could still give you recommendations of my favorite books, over... coffee?"

Rose's eyes widen slightly but then she smiles, gathering heself together again. "As I said, I have quite a busy schedule, but I'm willing to make room for a cup of coffee with a pretty stranger who likes books."

It takes a few more minutes, but then the two are down the street and inside the coffee shop, as apparently Kanaya was coming up on a shift break soon anyway and taking it a bit earlier wasn't going to hurt. Dave is left to wonder how they managed to meet, since he hadn't been able to work them together in his planning of Rose's life. 

"I just wanted them to have each other again," a voice said, and he jumped slightly before glancing around to stare at the girl perched on the desk.

Long black hair, though it is braided now, and a pair of white dog ears twitched on her head.

"Jade," Dave breathed out in surprise. "I thought..."

"I am dead, still," Jade said as she jumped off the desk and stood next to him, smiling wide at him. "But I can manipulate space pretty well still and it wasn't hard to find you! Especially with you not existing in this world fully."

Though she seemed happy, her last words came out sounding upset. He swallowed, not willing to explain everything to her. They walked together for a while, pausing to watch Kanaya and Rose having coffee. And then they continued, until they were inside a prank shop, where John was leaning over the counter and talking to, of course, of all people, Karkat. 

Jade leaned against a shelf, her eyes watching the interaction before she went back to looking at Dave.

"Aradia told me everything. And also gave me permission to do some stuff around her. My first order of business was seeing where everyone was, seeing who they knew. You did a good job, with making them family and all but I don't understand why you never pulled Karkat, Terezi and Kanaya into their lives."

"I couldn't figure out how to. Rose bumping into Kanaya on the street and falling in love with her didn't seem right to me, and hell if I could ever figure out how to bring Karkat or Terezi into John's life," Dave was back to watching the interaction between his two previous best friends. Karkat was arguing loudly, though John was just sort of laughing into his hand about something. 

"Rose acidentally wandering into a book shop and meeting Kanaya seemed easy enough to me! And hello, Karkat getting pranked by Terezi would totally be warranted to bring both of them into John's life!" Jade waved her hands and then smiled when Terezi came around the corner, snickering as she pushed Karkat sideways to thank John for his awesome store. Dave cracked a smile. 

"I get the happiness thing, Dave," she said again, causing him to look at her. "So I had a hard time working this out, okay, but I figured it out!"

Jade smiled again at him, though Dave only raised up an eyebrow and was about to ask her what the hell she was talking about when she disappeared right where she had been standing. With a sigh, Dave stuffed his hands into his pockets and was about to turn and head back to see how Rose and Kanaya's coffee date was going, when John cleared his throat and said, "Sorry, I didn't see you there! Can I help you?"

There was a long pause, one that he couldn't seem to fathom into seconds or minutes, before he turned around, glanced around and then frowned. Karkat was making a face, eyes narrowing as the air grew more silent. "Uh," Dave said and Karkat snorted.

"Me?"

Before John could seem to form an answer, Karkat had rolled his eyes, "Jesus, Egbert, all your customers are stupid, aren't they? Obviously, shithead, you're the only one in the store besides me and her."

**IV - Anthem**

**  
**So a lot of his life after that was complicated, filled with moments that were hard to sort out.

Despite its impossiblities, Dave fit right into their lives, much like a missing puzzle piece that had not necessarily been noticed as gone. But then it was there and he was there and everything seemed much more complete in that way. 

Still, even as they adjust to him in their lives, there are bits of Jade lingering. John does still walk into garden stores, followed by Jane's scolding which as become less biting and more of a 'Should I just start a garden already?' Jake picks up the flute for about a week before he realizes he cannot in fact play it, which causes a situation with Dirk and then there it is, Dirk and Jake together seemingly suddenly though Dave knows how long exactly it takes for that to actually happen. 

Rose happily accepts him into the Lalonde family, saying that, "Well, we do look quite alike! Did my mother have another affair?" To which Roxy and Dirk follow suite, simply placing him inside their lives easily. 

It is definitely an oddity, to him, but when he talks to Kanaya once, "Well, Dave, I'm not sure what you want me to say." He watches her carefully from that moment, but she gives no indication of remembering a past that would trouble her with pain. None of them do, which is an immense relief for him. 

Dave finds it easy to remember for all of them. 


End file.
